By: Jay Miller
Season after season is getting canceled left and right throughout the United States. It does not matter if you are DI superstar with a possible future of playing your sport for money or a senior at a small high school that never sees the field. The hurt and the pain are the exact same. I am sure you have heard people say, “I understand how you feel, but it will be ok,” or something along those lines. Truth be told, they don’t understand how you feel. Sports offer something that when taken away, nothing can replace. I am writing to tell you I have already lived this, I DO understand how you feel. Although you will always feel like a piece of you is missing, it will eventually be ok.
In January of my senior year, the school board put a levy to vote. It was aimed at a tax increase for the new school they were planning to build. However, it wasn’t as simple as pass or fail. The school board added the caveat, “We will cancel spring sports this year if this does not pass.” No opportunity to transfer to another high school because the spring semester had already started. We were stuck. Kids thrown into a harsh, unrelenting adult world that used us as a pawn to get what they wanted. Tough part is, they didn’t get what they wanted. The levy failed and true to their word, spring sports were canceled in the spring of 2005.
Baseball, that was my sport. Friends I had played ball with for the first 15 years of my life were looking forward to the pinnacle of a high school career, our senior year. We’d spent three years putting in hours in the gym, in the cages, in the weight room, the training room to get to this point. We had worked from the freshman team, to the JV team and now it was time to leave our mark as seniors… We never even got to take the field.
People who don’t understand see the games not being played and think they get it. They are missing the biggest part of sports. Yes, the scoreboard is great and all and that’s what a lot of outsiders don’t recognize. It’s the bus rides with conversations about futures unknown. Practices with laughter and inside jokes mixed in between the drills and stations. Pep talks from teammates that made you feel like you could conquer the world. The opportunity to accidentally learn about life from great coaches. That is what they don’t see. All those things you can’t grasp from a scoreboard are what makes sports so amazing. Athletics are an alternate world where athletes can let out the beast inside that stays silent every other hour of the day. All those things and more is what has been taken away. Nothing can fill that void and for that I am so sorry.
Here is the reality. This is now a part of your story. The events taking place will shape your thoughts, feelings and emotions. This terrible situation that has taken away your seasons without warning and without remorse, does have a good side. You might not want to hear it right now, but I promise, you need to know it gets better. I am the person I am today because of what happened to me in 2005. After the levy failed, I was angry. That anger stayed with me… until I turned it into passion. It made me realize, nothing is certain and to not take anything for granted. Losing something I so desperately wanted makes me appreciate everything so much more.
All athletes have had to tell friends or family, “sorry, I can’t, I have (insert sport here) practice.” It is easy to sit there and think, “I put in all this work, all this time for what… nothing.” That is wrong. It wasn’t for nothing. There is a reason athletes go on to be successful when their playing days are over. Athletes are goal oriented, internally driven, work well under pressure and are great “teammates.” All those skills you put to use getting ready for your season that never was, just set you up to be successful for whatever is next.
This spring will mark the 15th anniversary that my senior season ended before it began. I am now 33 years old with an amazing wife and two beautiful boys. There are nights when I still dream about the season that never was. There are still times I wake up in the middle of the night sweating because I dreamed I was 18 again and we got our chance to take the field. After all these years, part of the pain is still there, but so are the lessons learned.
For now, be upset. Let your emotions out. Don’t let anyone tell you, “It’s just a game,” because those of us who understand know that it is so much more than that. Just know that it isn’t the end and this difficult time will help shape decisions you make for the rest of your life.
Be there for each other, you are not alone.
With love,
Heartbroken Coach